How Puck got his name

Queen Elizabeth was nodding off one warm boring afternoon and said 'I have the name of the main character for your play.' She said 'Puck' and we both immediately knew how that would work. 'Puck' was in reality the favorite of the child molester King Henri III of France who '`Oberon' was modeled after. According to court high English the name 'Puck' could be pronounced as 'Puck' or 'Fuck' or anywhere between much as the letter 'p' can be pronounced as a 'f' like when used in the words 'Pharmacy' or 'phone'. Usually when pronounced as an 'f' the letter 'p' is followed by an 'h' but with the irregular usage the 'h' was absent.

This is what I found on the internet about Henri III.

Although he married Louise de Lorraine-Vaudémont (February 13, 1575) and expected to produce an heir, the transvestite Henri III was not highly respected by citizens or nobility as he paraded about in women's clothes, accompanied by youthful male attendants referred to as his mignons (darlings). Here

Now that you know who Oberon and the fairies were in 'A Midsummers Night Dream' it probably doesn't seem nearly as absurd as it did only one half minute ago.

How does the name Puck, also known as Robin Good fellow, work so well? Henry III claimed that he kissed his minions on the forehead but insisted that is all he did and of course he insisted that sex never took place. However, many people noticed that when the king started to kiss one of his minions in particular on the forehead the said minion would 'puck' up his lips in anticipation of getting kissed on the mouth. It was very obvious that he was used to much more than just being just kissed on his forehead. He became Puck. Where does his alternate name enter in? King Henry III seduced the innocent young Puck as a child and stole him away from women so it was said that the king was 'Robin the Goodfellow' (robbing the good fellow). I think he may have had the boy castrated as well..

Hence the name Puck was very appropriate. It was in fact printed at one time with type that was a German font which is a combination of a 'P' and an 'F'. I don't suppose anyone has seen one of these recently, like in the last 300 years?

The innovation that Queen Elizabeth added was that the letter 'P' can be pronounced as an 'F'. What it means is that Puck's name could be pronounced 'Puck' or 'Fuck' or anywhere in between (according to the audience in attendance). On the stage the name could and was pronounced both ways and it would often change from one scene to the next and from performance to performance.

It's going to make even more totally absurd sense as soon as you scroll down.

Henry III

This picture of King Henry III is certainly worth more than a thousand words. Compare the style with this...

Midsummers Night Dream

... from the play 'A Midsummers Night Dream'.

Oberon was King Henry III and his wife
Louise de Lorraine-Vaudémont, was the Fairy Queen Titania because she provided her husband, King Henry III, with children as part of their wedding arrangements. It was a very twisted marriage. Much more than the play so the play in no way could it do reality full justice.

King Henry III's many minions were the fairies in the play. These were children and this play was the first public exposure ever made of child molestation. The fallout from it literally destroyed the King of France and actually wiped out the 250 year reign of the Valois Dynasty. I actually destroyed a dynasty with my pen. A very perverse dynasty but also a very powerful and entrenched one. The results far exceeded all of our expectations.

We spoke Court or High English in the court of Queen Elizabeth. Court English was derived from Court German which was very stiff. Both of these languages often pronounced the letter 'P' differently and definitely it was often pronounced as an 'F'.

What we now call proper English (which most English now speak) was very similar to and derived from Court English 400 years ago. 

What we now call Cockney is what everyone in England spoke back then...even Queen Elizabeth when she was not in court.

In all fairness Cockney then was just slightly less strong than it is now but it had a little bit of brogue. It's still about 80 % the same as it was 400 years ago. People have wondered where that accent came from. Now you know. It was not an accent, it was the way nearly everyone near London spoke.

I assume that High English became what we now call 'the King's English' and that was fostered on nearly everyone in England except for those stubborn East Londoners.

On a personal note. Spoken in Cockney is how the plays were intended, not in court English. I would much rather hear them in Cockney, especially the comedies. Cockney is definitely more fun than court English. It's not so choppy and halting which tends to cause a person's mind to operate the same way. I think the English lost much of their playfulness when they adopted Court English for the masses.  It certainly added a stiffness to them.

In places I carefully worded the sentences so that pronouncing his name differently gave an entirely new meaning to the play like when Oberon (king Henry III) commands 'My gentle Fuck, come hither'.


Well, go thy way: thou shalt not from this grove -[Your are not going to get out of having sex]
Till I torment thee for this injury.-[unless I tease you first]
My gentle Pfuck, come hither. Thou rememberest -[proposition to have sex]
Since once I sat upon a promontory,[him being on top]
And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back-[fantasy about sex (and you thought that was new)]
Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath-[kissing and foreplay]
That the rude sea grew civil at her song-[sex transforming into sweet love making] 
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres,-[ejaculation-orgasm]
To hear the sea-maid's music.-[the bliss after wards means it matches the above fantasy sex]

It's going to take a while to recall all of these.


Either I mistake your shape and making quite,
Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite
Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he
That frights the maidens of the villagery;
Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern
And bootless make the breathless housewife churn;
And sometime make the drink to bear no barm;
Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm?
Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Fuck,
You do their work, and they shall have good luck:
 Are not you he?


    [Advancing] Welcome, good Robin.
    See'st thou this sweet sight?
    Her dotage now I do begin to pity:
    For, meeting her of late behind the wood,
    Seeking sweet favours from this hateful fool,
    I did upbraid her and fall out with her;
    For she his hairy temples then had rounded
    With a coronet of fresh and fragrant flowers;
    And that same dew, which sometime on the buds
    Was wont to swell like round and orient pearls,
    Stood now within the pretty flowerets' eyes
    Like tears that did their own disgrace bewail.
    When I had at my pleasure taunted her
    And she in mild terms begg'd my patience,
    I then did ask of her her changeling child;
    Which straight she gave me, and her fairy sent
    To bear him to my bower in fairy land.
    And now I have the boy, I will undo
    This hateful imperfection of her eyes:
    And, gentle Pfuck, take this transformed scalp-[condom]
    From off the head of this Athenian swain;
    That, he awaking when the other do,
    May all to Athens back again repair
    And think no more of this night's accidents
    But as the fierce vexation of a dream.
    But first I will release the fairy queen.
    Be as thou wast wont to be;
    See as thou wast wont to see:
    Dian's bud o'er Cupid's flower
    Hath such force and blessed power.
    Now, my Titania; wake you, my sweet queen.

Luck is how we in the 16th century often determined if we were having sex with the right person. Sex before marriage was pretty much a given among commoners so typically a man and a woman would have sex until she got pregnant. Then they got married. Before the woman got pregnant both partners would see how their general luck changed. If it remained good or got better then it was a good relationship. If it became bad then it wasn't a good relationship and you stopped having sex before the woman got preggers.

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Pfuck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Pfuck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.

The same play could be seen four times and when done right each time it would be totally different.

If you think this play is more innocent than this then pray tell look through your rose colored glasses which seem to be disguising these words and changing their meaning.

 ...When in that moment, so it came to pass,
Titania waked and straightway loved an ass.

Catherine the Great Well yes, this last precious line implies the same gross idea as the term Tijuana donkey show implies which doesn't sound like innocent dialogue at all but people still attribute innocence to the play. At the time there was a crass rumor about the French rulers so it was based on current events of the time.  The rumor has since disappeared, been displaced or was replaced by a similar rumor concerning a horse and the death of Catherine the Great.

Someone, I can't recall who, became the ass in the play because it was said that his laugh was like that of an ass. However, I can't locate any references to that on the internet so never mind. It rattles me that I am having a problem recalling who was who in the play but it has been over 400 years so I can't be too hard on myself. In any case the ass was probably Nick Bottom and his name was a double entendres for the modern day slang 'a piece of ass' (Nick=piece, Bottom=ass). Most of the other characters had names that were sexual innuendos at the time the play was written such as 'Snug', 'Peter Quince' and 'Francis Flute'.

I recall vividly that King Henri III talked a young German Prince into visiting him for the summer. When the prince went home a homo, he was flaming out of control and out of the closet. Then all Europe knew.  He may have become the Indian Prince in the play.

Much of the French court is represented in the play. It was totally out of control and as sick as can be. The dynasty was said to be ruled by Opium, hence in the play poppy (opium) flowers, sleep and dreams play a large part.

Amazing how much you can get away with if you hide it within a play.
And what about getting caught and called on it which must have happened if what I say is true. Well it did happen and that is why the play ends with the following apology/statement. It's obvious from this last paragraph said by Puck that the play was about real people or this next paragraph would not even exist since it would not have been needed.

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Pfuck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Pfuck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends. -PFUCK

There can be no denial of the play being true and about real people. Quite the contrary. this kind of statement is only made to defend a truthful statement from attacks and slander. And England from France. So in effect this last statement stands as a testament to the plays truthfulness.

It says if you are offended just pretend it is a dream (untrue). Also, it is quite obvious that the play was about real people or how else how could I have offended anyone (which precipitated this virtual apology) by writing it?

And let me tell you this fact: This play did make lots of people very angry. There was even a bit of a worry about it triggering a war with France. The French ambassador actually made open threats in the court of Queen Elizabeth. I think the queens reaction was 'if he hollers then we will listen'. [To bring up a subject in court can mean many things, if a person hollers then it is different than if they speak at a normal level. However, I can't recall what hollering mean't, maybe the reincarnation of Queen Elizabeth knows. I'll have to find and ask her some time. Perhaps hollering means they are in effect demanding an official response but when it is stated at a normal level it means that the ambassador is simply making a statement or asking because he was told to by his King.]

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