The front side was Thomas Jefferson's idea.

And Congress hasn't been the same since.

You can see the painting here on the Congressional library website.

You will notice the shear nature of the thin chiffon dresses that cling to the thighs and clearly show both them and their juncture. The waists that have know a corset far longer and more intimately tight than any honest American woman would have ever endured. Then there are the full breasts which made my wife wince the first time she saw the design of the seal.

When I first showed the seal to my wife I wasn't sure what her reaction would be. That eye belongs to a young Thomas Jefferson whose inspecting the two women through a peep hole*.

The above view of Thomas Jefferson's eye's is not straight on of course and the painting it was from was made 13 years later so the eyebrows are thicker but you can tell from the shape of the lids, the length of the eyebrows and the other aspects that the left eye is the same one used on the seal. Unless I am mistaken nobody has noticed it before.

After my wife studyed it ten times as intensely as any man ever did I wasn't sure what was going to happen or if I was going to even be able to sleep with her from then on or if I would just hear the word 'no' for the rest of my life.

Then she turned slowly and looked me right in the eyes and she mischievously said 'You are going to get away with this aren't you'?

And I guess I have because to my knowledge nobody has ever made a single comment about the girls except her.

She immediately referred to them as my 'nasty girls'. Then Ben noticed that the breasts of the girl on the right were the same size and since her left arm was outstretched that breast needed to be made a little smaller so that when she lowered her arm they would match perfectly. After that touch up was made my wife who like making puns and double entendres of a sexual nature called them my 'twin pair of pears' which could also be 'twin pair of pairs'.

George Washington's reaction at the time was the same as most members of Congress. 'If you can get the other members to agree then Martha will have to accept it'.

I remember the one congressman who was adamantly against the front side of the seal. He had the skill of being able to blow up in anger and still say the right thing and I didn't know anyone who could do that.

He came off with. 'I don't even know any of those kind of women. I don't even have any pictures of those kinds of women. Not in my house, not in the office or in my latrine. Why don't you just leave their breasts bare like the French do?

I replied: 'Great idea, I think you should get full credit for it and I'll see that you do' and his mouth stayed wide open while I walked away.


Ben took the opposite tack and made the back of the seal zealously religious to save us from having to work on it anymore.

Most of the forefathers were not very religious but were quite spiritual. They had an almost certain deep reverence for God and were frightened by the excesses that were done in his name like the religious fervor that had caused the Salem witch hunts. They felt that other cults like the Shakers and Puritans which started many of the colonies were repugnant and an embarrassment.

So, there in the lower middle and right of the reverse of the seal is the Army of Egypt being swallowed up by the Red Sea while both Moses (on the left) and then there is the Lord, as a flame and smoke, (high in the center). Men often saw the center figure as the lord. Of course women often saw it as something else. What did Ben intend it to be? You have to be joking to even ask that about Ben Franklin with his reputation! I think when I asked him he said something like 'which one do men praise above all else'? "Certainly not the Lord...except on Sundays'. So it's a lady's tush. In any case if it had been approved it would have attracted every insane religious cult that had not already come to America.

Ben was right. That side was rejected right away. They did not even put it to a vote. This is what finally got us out of that assignment.


The next committee was a bit worried about ignoring the work that Franklin and Jefferson had done so they kept the eye and the Egyptian theme.

Before they got to the boring final version they went through a whole bunch of ideas that were just as dull as the assignment was.

 

By simply comparing each succeeding seal you can see the digression of the design from specific identifiable themes to junk.

And that my friend is the story of the Great Seal of America. The seal does not have a specific or secret meaning. Nor is it related to any secret society that has not yet been discovered.

It had no basis except for what Ben did to save us from the drudgery and tedium of having to do this kind type of work.

Trust me, If the design had any basis in metaphysics then I would tell you. I don't know of anything that could support what I say more or faster than to say here is the proof that the forefathers were all into metaphysics, spirits and past lives but it is simply not true and I am honest so I won't lie to you.

 

*The purpose of including a peephole was to get the seal rejected. Being a lawyer I thought it would be voted against because of it's legality. It was considered a theft of major consequences. To wit a felony. When dowry's were common a young lady's reputation had an actual dollar value. A peeping Tom (no relation to this Tom) would share details about a virgin which were then used by someone to embellish lies of sexual conquests. The dowry often got cut in half just because of rumors.

There were lots of cases. I could probably recall 20 of these cases. During two cases in the middle of the trial the father of the young lady decided she should marry the man but the dowry stayed hers and her children's (a prenuptial contract). Threats were made to extort additional land in one case. It was a judges nightmare. I recall an example of one peeping tom that almost created a total disaster.

At his own party one southerner, a real gentleman most of the time, almost ran a young man through with his sword when he gave him two seconds to give him the name of the peeping tom that had shared information about his own daughter when the young man simply asked her if it was true that she had a birthmark the shape of Italy on her butt. He got the name within the allotted two seconds. It was his own naive five year old son, her younger brother, who had innocently told it to the younger brother of the young man the angry father almost killed. By the way, that peephole? It was actually meant to be a triangular keyhole. They still use triangular keys on pianos but I guess they got rid of them for doors. Good riddance.

 

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© 2003 John Pinil